TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
