He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
