every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize