We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
