Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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