are you still at the devil's house?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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