I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
