I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
