She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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