I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I am never drinking with the goths again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
