3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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