I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dicks are not precious.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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