I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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