I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
