So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
