i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
only you would photoshop your dick
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
