Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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