I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
