she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
