I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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