me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
