Swine flu. Run for my life!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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