i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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