I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize