I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have already put on my inside pants.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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