if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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