So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!