drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
