Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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