I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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