Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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