drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
