I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
