I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
