I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
