Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
