Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
