Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
No subtext here. People are naked.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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