Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
