Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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