just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I forget how to act sober
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!