I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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