i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
