So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
