It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
