I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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