Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
