last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the condom got lost in my hair
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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