How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
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So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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