You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
