i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish you could order shots online.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
