There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
