I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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