there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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