U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
