Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I got inside last night via doggy door
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
