Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize