"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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