We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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