So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
