Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
