I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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