if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I see more hoeing in ur future
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